Kisah Penumpang Titanic..kenapa tak cukup lifeboat?

"If a ship is torpedoed, that's war. If it strikes a rock in a storm, that's nature. But just to die because there weren't enough lifeboats, that's ridiculous." -Eva Hart 

I am supposed to write my thesis to submit the first draft TOMORROW but guess what,here i am.. i am getting hooked on to the history of the sinking Titanic. I actually tertengok some documentaries kat Youtube about the real story from one of the survivors, Eva Hart. Then I dig more. Here's a short brief about her and few other survivors that i will share in the next post.

Benjamin Hart (dad), Eva Hart (the only daughter) and Esther Hart (mom). Pic from Wikipedia.

 Eva Hart was 7 years old masa tu, and travelled as a second class passenger boarding the Titanic on 10 April 1912, with both her parents. Sebenarnya dia sekeluarga sepatutnya naik kapal lain nama Philadelphia, tapi kapal tu tak jadi sail sebab ada mogok (coal strike) so banyak passenger dari kapal tu kena transferred to the next ship which is the Titanic ( macam kita book flight AirAsia lepas tu flight tu cancel dia move kita sesuka hati ke next flight yang ikut suka time dia~).

Titanic semasa di perlabuhan Southampton. Pic from Titanicfacts.net

So mak dia, Esther Hart dah rasa tak sedap hati. Dia macam dapat premonition that something dreadful (mengerikan) is going to happen to that ship (Titanic). Tapi nak tanak kena naik jugak la sebab dah beli tiket dan memang nak kena pegi America. Titanic dijadualkan belayar dari Southampton,England ke New York,America. Pelayaran pertama untuk apa2 jenis kapal macam ni dipanggil maiden voyage. "The maiden voyage of a ship, aircraft or other craft is the first journey made by the craft in its intended duty." So kiranya itu adalah pelayaran pertama untuk Titanic selepas siap dibina di Ireland. The first and the last...

Route pelayaran Titanic.

Mak dia punya rasa tak sedap hatilah sampai memutuskan untuk tidur waktu siang dan malam berjaga siap sedia kalau jadi apa-apa. So pada malam kejadian, both Eva n her dad tengah tidur, mak dia tengah berjaga dan terasa sedikit getaran bila kapal tu langgar iceberg, so dia kejutkan Benjamin, dan Benjamin keluar pegi check kat dock, nak amek tahu apa jadi dari crew kat situ. So coming back to the room (mesti masa tu dia dah tahu apa yang jadi, n dia antara orang terawal tahu) dia bagitau dorang pasal pelanggaran tu n suruh dorang dua pakai coat and selimutkan Eva (sebab sejuk kan?) dan bawak ke deck untuk naik lifeboat. Dengan polisi wanita dan kanak-kanak didahulukan, Esther dan Eva saja masuk ke dalam lifeboat dan Eva bila ditemuramah (bila dia dah dewasa la) Eva bagitau, benda terakhir bapa dia pesan waktu tu lepas letak dia dalam lifeboat ialah  'be a good girl and hold Mummy's hand'. Sambil bapa dia berdiri di deck dan melihat lifeboat itu diturunkan ke dalam air. Dia tak jumpa bapak dia dah lepas tu, even mayat pon tak jumpa (Her father perished and his body, if recovered, was never identified.) Pengorbanan seorang ayah. Laki-laki zaman ayah2 kita gentleman macam ni, sekarang, aku naik LRT pon lelaki berebut dengan aku untuk duduk, bila dipersoalkan nanti akan cakap "kan perempuan nak equality?"  Equality my ass bruh, my ass..u still cant give birth~ ok ter-emo pula...memang tak semua laki zaman sekarang macam tu, yang triggered je la kot haha~

Eva dan ibunya lepas tu diselamatkan oleh kapal Carpathia yang meluru datang sebaik terima distress call (in morse code) dari Titanic, tetapi sebab kapal tu jauh dan kapal tu bukan kapal secanggih Titanic, selaju dia pon dia hanya boleh sampai dalam 4 jam. Ada kontroversi mengatakan ada satu lagi kapal yang lebih dekat yang nampak emergency flare atau  distress rockets tapi buat tak tahu je iaitu kapal Californian. Eva ni antara survivor yang outspoken dan jadi activist yang kritik kepincangan pengurusan dan pengendalian Titanic. Dari segi kenapa lifeboat tak cukup, iaitu sepatutnya 40 untuk menampung 2000 penumpang, tapi cuma ada 20 sebab kapten, arkitek, engineer dan bos White Star Line (syarikat kapal dan pelayaran tersebut) terlalu yakin yang Titanic takkan tenggelam. They called it the unsinkable Titanic, even God cant sink it..terlalu yakin dan mencabar tuhan kau ni bang.. 

Lagi satu, even lepas langgar iceberg tu pon kapten dan orang besar kapal ni macam masih tak yakin yang pelanggaran tu teruk dan boleh tenggelamkan Titanic, so dorang bertindak sambil lewa, dan sebab tiada emergency drill langsung (katanya ada tapi kapten suruh kensel sebab ada Sunday church activity apatah) so crew semua tak bersedia dengan apa yang perlu dibuat untuk organisekan passenger ke lifeboat. Lifeboat terawal berlepas pon katanya maybe ada lagi tempat kosong, tapi sebab masa tu kebanyakan passenger dan crew tak tahu lagi yang kapal akan sink, so tak kecoh, tak ramai berebut naik. Dan crew pon sebenarnya tak tahu pon the fact that the lifeboat tak mencukupi. Historian Thomas E. Bonsall cakap yang kalau lifeboat cukup pon, tetapi atas sebab pengurusan dan pengendalian kecemasan yang berterabur macam ni, tak banyak jugak nyawa boleh diselamatkan. 

Eva juga mengkritik kaptain kapal Californian yang mengabaikan distress rocket dari Titanic. Sebab kapten dia bagi alasan, dorang ingat Titanic tengah main firework celebrating something, at 2 am bruh?? Really? Firework dengan emergency flare sama ke bang?? Selain itu, kapten tersebut jugak memberi alasan kata mereka jauh, 19 batu so tak nampak dengan clear, padahal memula cakap 9 batu, lepas tu betulkan kata "oppss ralat, 19 batu lah," huh boleh plak.. Eva membantah, dia cakap mana ada 19 batu, 9 batu pon tidak, sebab dari lifeboat dia masa tu, dia boleh nampak kapal tu, bukan nampak lampu je, memang sebijik bentuk kapal dia boleh nampak, maksudnya dekat la tu. Closer than 9 miles away. Tapi nak menipu sebab nak justify their irresponsibility for the death of 1500+ Titanic victims, dari 9 batu jadi 19 batu pulak...

"I saw that ship sink,I never closed my eyes. I didn't sleep at all. I saw it, I heard it, and nobody could possibly forget it. I can remember the colours, the sounds, everything. The worst thing I can remember are the screams. It seemed as if once everybody had gone, drowned, finished, the whole world was standing still. There was nothing, just this deathly, terrible silence in the dark night with the stars overhead.The band played one version of 'Nearer My God to Thee' of which there are three and the one they played was the one that was played in church. I never closed my eyes at all – I saw that ship sink. And I saw that ship break in half."- Eva Hart, semasa ditemuramah, aku translate kat bawah bagi yang kureng English. 

"Saya nampak sendiri kapal tu tenggelam, saya tak tutup mata langsung. Tak tidur langsung. Saya nampak, saya dengar, dan mustahil sesiapa pon boleh lupakannya. Saya ingat warnanya, bunyinya, semuanya. Paling teruk yang saya boleh ingat ialah jeritan. Ia seperti sebaik sahaja semua orang hilang, lemas, habis, seluruh dunia terdiam terpaku. Tiada apa lagi selain sepi yang dasyat dan mengerikan di dalam kegelapan malam dengan hanya bintang di langit. Kugiran memainkan lagu Nearer My God to Thee yang ada 3 versi, dan versi mereka main ialah yang dimainkan di gereja*. Saya tak tutup mata langsung, saya lihat sendiri kapal tu tenggelam. Dan saya nampak kapal tu terbelah dua." 

*Menurut pembacaan lanjut,  aku dapat tahu yang kugiran tu stay main lagu atas kapal sampai kapal dah nak tenggelam,dah senget dah baru dorang berhenti sebab dah tak boleh berdiri, sebab dorang sedar dorang sebagai lelaki takleh naik bot tu sebelum wanita dan kanak2, dan bot pon tak cukup, tapi yang biadabya company White Star Line (atau company yang uruskan kugiran tu yang assigned dorang play atas Titanic) still bilkan uniform baru kugiran tu ke keluarga dorang lepas tragedi tu. Tak bertimbangrasa langsung.

Kesudahannya Eva sampai New York dengan maknya, dan maknya pon kawen lain. Dia takleh tidur since the tragedy sebab trauma kan, baru umur 7 tahun. Dia asyik mimpikan tragedi tu, sampailah umur 23 tahun mak dia meninggal, dia decide untuk melawan ketakutan dia tu so dia berlayar ke Singapura naik kapal penumpang atau cruise la kot eh?, tapi mulanya dia tak keluar langsung dari kabin dia selama 4 hari sampailah pramugari kapal tu paksa dia keluar ke deck dan barulah dia berani dan mimpi ngeri tu pon stop. Rasanya lepas tu baru tu baru dia aktif dan vokal mengkritik dan menceritakan pengalaman dia kepada masyarakat umum, baru bersedia ditemuramah lah camtu. Dan dia bergabung dengan survivor lain dalam society dorang untuk menggesa peraturan baru untuk kapal-kapal.

Dia juga mengkritik aktiviti sea explorer yang nak korek tempat kapal tu tenggelam, sebab dia kata itu kan tempat macam kubur kepada 1200-1500 mangsa yang tak terselamat. Sepatutnya jangan dikacau. Dah la mati sebab sejuk (hypothermia) bukan semua mati sebab lemas saja, barang peribadi dorang nak dikorek dan dicuri pulak, katanya lagi.

Apa yang paling menarik, sebelum oceanographer ada teknologi untuk masuk ke dasar laut,engineer dan crew kapal yang terselamat mati-mati menafikan cerita survivor yang mengatakan bahawa kapal Titanic tu terbelah dua bila tenggelam. Dorang nak cakap kapal tu sangat kuat dan dia tenggelam in one piece. Eva Hart antara yang paling tegas mengatakan dia nampak dan dia dengar kapal tu patah dua masa nak tenggelam. Namun begitu, pada tahun 1986 bila Robert Ballard berjaya jumpa Titanic wrecks di dasar lautan, dia telah confirmkan yang memang kapal tu patah dua,dan agak jauh terpisah. Take that! Tapi by 1986 tu crew kapal semua tu dah mati la kot, survivor yang kebanyakannya remaja dan budak-budak pon dah berumur dah by that time, tambah la pulak crew kapal yang sah-sah la dah dewasa masa kerja dalam Titanic tu.

Ok i think that's all for now, back to my thesis, wish me luck, i will come back to write another or more story about the survivors or the victims that i find interesting to share. Did u read this? U want more? Komen la..takla aku rasa aku tulis syok sendiri je..huh..ok tataaa

As a bonus, di bawah ada video Eva Hart di-interview.

Dan satu scene Titanic di ambang nak tenggelam dari movie Titanic yang famous itu..

Moral of the story, jangan cakap besar. 

Skincare Sekarang, Masalah Fungal Acne dan Parut

Salam dan hello all,

If u had read my old post about my never-ending acne problem here or here which were written ages ago and still is getting traffic and comments to this day hence this post is made, this time i want to share about my most latest n current skincare to suit my current skin condition. After those 2 post in 2012 and 2013,aku dah try millions of skincare products, sekejap ok sekejap tak ok kulit aku ni tapi malas dah nak taip review.

So kali ini aku dah discovered a new skin routine for my current skin condition, iaitu jerawat pasir or kulat (fungal acne). Dulu tak tau pon apa benda jerawat pasir ni. Nanti aku tulis lagi secara detail, kalau la ada orang tanya kat komen, tapi buat masa sekarang aku share dekat Youtube pasal skin condition aku sekarang. Jerawat pasir ni bukan boleh main main punya, sebab dia bukan macam jerawat biasa. 

*Update: Link YouTube video review aku tu aku dah delete sebab hari tu share banyak gak traffic dapat dari sini ke youtube lepas tu banyak plak komen kata suara tak jelas, padahal aku dengar jelas je, kalau phone speaker problem pakai lah earphone, itu pon nk kena ajar huh!

Jerawat biasa letak krim jerawat piuuu matilah dia, tapi jerawat pasir ni nama je jerawat pasir, tapi dalam bahasa English dia dipanggil fungal acne, so sebenarnya dia bukan jerawat, dia adalah kulat, tapi nampak macam jerawat, the bacteria that cause them to appear is not even the same as acne or blemishes punya bacteria yang biasa tu, it's a different one. More for u to read here kalau nak berkenalan dengan lebih lanjut dengan beliau but it's in English, kalau nak mudah paham dalam bahasa kebangsaan secara ringkas dan padat tengok je video Noel ini  . Kalau nak tengok my own video reviewing all the products that i have changed to suit my current skin condition yang terkena masalah jerawat pasir di kala ini, tengok kat sini.

 That's all for now. Thank you for reading this. Have a nice day.

Updated: can anyone reading my blog share the best product to clear my face from jeragat or pigmentation, dark spots and acne scars? I've tried HirusScar,did nothing and i think it just make my skin breakouts since dia ada castor oil yang trigger fungal acne or jerawat pasir.

How Overthinking Had Saved Me: A Short Story of my Experience

This morning i scrolled my Facebook and found a post that touched my heart. A tragic story how a young Muslim girl died. I feel like sharing my almost similar story.

The post goes on like this:
"I carried a dead Muslim girl out of a night club.

I never really tell stories about my past, mainly because we dont need to be exposing our past sins and a little bit because I dont wanna snitch on myself.. But time to time I reflect on the lessons learnt.

It was October 2011 and I was a security manager in the nightclub scene. I got called to work a big urban night, which people attended from all over the country. Over 3000 people came and the place was full from wall to wall. Some well known rappers and DJ's were playing that night and I remember it smelt like cocoa butter, weed and sweat.

Alcohol and drug fuelled, there was so many fights. I remember seeing a guys head split when he got hit with a champagne bottle, blood everywhere. It was absolutely manic! I remember being so angry at the promoters for putting us in this situation as bouncers.

Anyway, at the end of the night as everybody rushed out the club in a hurry, people started to push, slip and fall down the stairs. With no regard for each other, they just started to walk over the people who had fallen and stamp all over them. Before you knew it there was a stampede and people were getting trampled and crushed.

Along with a few others I started to pull people out of the pile of bodies being crushed as others carried on walking all over them. I could hear screaming, crying and shouting... but these animals just did not care and would not stop. I was pulling people out from under the crowd and to safety as the police, paramedics and firemen turned up to help.

I went back in and pulled one female out who was unconscious and carried her outside the club to a paramedic. I placed her down on the carpark floor and ran back inside to help more people. Every time I came back out I looked at this girl not moving and the paramedic frantically trying to help. I went over to ask what's going on and they told me shes dead.

They checked her ID and from her name I found out she is a muslim. Another girl also died that night and around 35 people were seriously injured. The police reviewed the footage and told me that I probably saved 30 lives that night..

But not this one.

Till this day I cry when I think about her. It scared me so much to think as a muslim I could lose my life in a nightclub. It was the start of me trying to change my whole life around. My intention is to continue doing sadaqa jarya charity projects for her.

May Allah forgive us for our sins and have mercy on this young muslimah who was only around 19 years old.

Death can come at anytime man, you have to be prepared. The clubbing scene is nothing but filth. I've seen people lose their lives and even stopped women getting raped in my time on the doors.

Alhamdulillah for the second, third, fourth and however many other chances Allah has given us.

You can have the darkest past, but it shouldn't prevent you from having the brightest future. I work my ass off in this charity scene because me personally I have so much to make up for from the past.

Allah is the most merciful..and that is the reason why we can never give up.

May Allah take us at a time He is happy with us. Ameen."

This story by this brother reminds me of myself when i was young.

When i was really young, 19 years old to be exact, n  it was my first time living in a hostel far from family to attend college , i got a roomate who sounded Islamic, a daughter of an ustaz, i think even her brother produce Islamic dakwah reading materials, but she was a bit of a rebel, and was really good with words (like Najwa Zebian u know, against the faith yet twisting words to sound so "motivational" "positive vibe" justified by her self-love thingy~may she return to the right path by Allah swt's mercy). She told me we need to see or try some forbidden things before we hate it, just try to see it, not to enjoy it she said, to understand why it is forbidden, she even said as Muslim we are discouraged to taqlid, to just accept what is told without knowing why and what's the point of everything.

So she talked me out to go to a nearby famous night club, plus she regularly visits clubs and said it was nothing bad as long as she didnt take alcohol or make out with guys..after refusing many time she somehow managed to convince me to go, she said u need to see it just once, if u dont like it just leave, at least u get to see it, dont be judgemental etc. Out of curiosity, i was determined to see it myself and understand why it's a bad place like our ustazahs and seniors keep telling us.

So that weekend i was planning to follow her until a few days before the weekend, i received a forwarded email  (if ur 90s kids or older, remember that Friendster and Yahoo chat era, and people sharing news or interesting stuffs through emails instead of re-sharing posts on Facebook, in fact Facebook was still in development that time i think). The email was about a night club in neighbouring country (Thailand) that was on fire, it came with lots of photos, no censorship in emails u know, people got their hands on the photos and just share them. So many burnt dead bodies piling in that club after the fire was put off.

They didnt get to escape because they were trapped, imagine the nature of a night club or such place, a lot of human gathered in an enclosed building, entrance are usually limited, usually just a standard doors. So when people get panic they just push themselves around or get pushed.. The sign for exit would be hard to find or confusing for some, like maybe the closest exit is behind them but out of panic they only see the exit sign across the hall. So imagine that.

When i saw the email it got me thinking, if that night  that i was just going to the nearby night club for the first time without the intention to visit again, and somehow the club get into such disaster and i died there, what would my parents think of me? 

• I was sent to study hundreds miles away and that's where i go? 
• Wouldn't i disappoint them? 
• How can they explain to people and relatives about how i died? 
• I was sent to an Islamic college n they speak proudly of me n that's how i died? 

Imagine how it would crush their hearts. I would be embarrassing them. Just for a stupid reason to just "see" the environment of a night club ..n they would never know that i have never been to that place before, dying there would make it look like im a frequent to such place. People will make accusations. I am already dead to defend myself, to tell the truth that i just go there to see it for the first and last time.

Hence i made up my mind that i shall never step into any night clubs ever since that day till now im already in my 30s.

Thank god for the love and reminder.